Last month was Men’s Health Month, a reminder that looking after your health means more than staying physically fit. It also means paying attention to your mental wellbeing, something many men still find difficult to talk about.
Statistically, men in South Africa are three times more likely to die by suicide than women. Yet most men who are struggling won’t tell anyone. They’ll push through, self-medicate or go quiet until it’s too late. We’ll spend hours debating sport, work, or current events but often avoid asking ourselves the simple question: Am I actually okay? Think of this as a half-time team talk for your mind.
In sport, injuries get rest, rehab and a recovery plan. Nobody tells an injured player to “toughen up and play on.” But depression and anxiety? They are often treated differently. Depression in men rarely looks like sadness. More often it appears as irritability, a shorter fuse, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, or feeling disconnected from your own life.
Know when it’s more than stress
Many men call it “just stress” or “a rough patch.” But when the rough patch lasts months and you can’t remember the last time you felt genuinely okay, that’s a red card from your own mind. Anxiety is just as common and just as misunderstood. The chest tightness before meetings, the Sunday-night dread before a new week begins, those aren’t personality traits. They’re symptoms, and like any injury, they respond to treatment when you stop playing through the pain.
Most men manage to struggle through their worst mental health days at work without anyone noticing. The meetings are attended, the deadlines are met, and the mask stays firmly in place. But at the office there’s no bench and no half-time break, just another inbox.
But constantly working through exhaustion, skipping leave and answering emails at midnight doesn’t prove commitment. It often means you are running on empty. And when you run on empty, you don’t gradually slow down, you crash.
Use the support available
If your workplace offers an Employee Assistance Programme (EAP), use it. Even professional athletes rely on psychologists and mental performance coaches. If your employer doesn’t offer support, the South African Depression and Anxiety Group (SADAG) provides free counselling and support services to anyone in South Africa.
When coping becomes a warning sign
Every rugby and football fan knows the “third half”, the drinks after the game. But when a beer to unwind becomes a beer to cope, when Friday nights quietly become every night, that’s a different game entirely. Alcohol remains one of the most socially accepted coping mechanisms among men, but self-medicating with it numbs the pain tonight and doubles it tomorrow. If you’re drinking to cope rather than celebrate, it may be time to reach out for support.
The South African National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (SANCA) offers confidential support, and most medical aids cover counselling benefits that can help.
Another challenge many men face is loneliness. In any team sport, when a player goes down, play stops and someone runs over. In real life, when a man starts withdrawing, cancelling plans or becoming unusually quiet, we give him space. We assume he’ll sort it out. The reality is that loneliness among men is a growing public health crisis nobody talks about because it looks like independence. But the research is blunt: social isolation carries the same health risk as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Start with one honest conversation
You don’t need a therapist to start, though professional support helps. You need one honest conversation with someone you trust the way you’d break down a game plan with a teammate. The challenge is simple: stop acting strong and start living strong. Real strength is saying “I’m not okay” and still being here next year because you made one call this month.
Sanlam Group Risk’s range of life, disability and severe illness benefits helps provide financial protection when serious illness or injury affects your ability to work or support your family. While these benefits can offer valuable peace of mind during difficult times, the most important investment is still your own wellbeing.
Looking after your mental health today can help you stay present for the people who depend on you tomorrow. The whistle’s blown. Time to get your head in the game.
Author: Bruno Correia
Product Owner: Sanlam Group Risk
RESOURCES
SADAG: 0800 456 789 (helpline) | 0800 567 567 (crisis) | sadag.org
SANCA (Substance Use Support): 011 892 3829 | sancanational.info
Lifeline SA: 0861 322 322 | lifelinesa.co.za